How to get the girl and create instant spark


Are you looking to up your dating game and learn how to attract the right kind of women? Interested in mastering the art of seduction and learning how to engage dates in meaningful conversation while leaving a positive impression?

Whether you have a crush on someone or you’re just venturing into the world of dating, there are proven ways to maximize your chances at finding love.  

This special report is dedicated to just that: helping you avoid dates that crash and burn so you can find that special someone who is meant for you.

So without further delay, let’s get started!

The Art of Engagement 

It’s easy get excited when meeting someone we see as a potential partner and wanting to spill everything.

So we end up oversharing… and then what happens?

She ends up sitting there listening to you talking incessantly about yourself, all the while you believe you’re simply lowering your guard and doing your best to engage, she’s either bored, annoyed or both.

We’ve all done it so don’t feel bad if you identify with this scenario.  Sometimes we catch it early enough to back-track and do damage control by reverting the conversation back to her so we can show her that we’re truly interested.

Other times, we fail to recognize how we’re dominating the conversation and the date ends with little chance of ever hearing from her again. It’s like a job interview. Blow it and it’s over.

Learning to communicate takes work.  It’s not something we’re all naturally gifted with.  Sure, we know how to ask all the right questions and we certainly know how to talk about ourselves but a deep conversation that leaves both people feeling satisfied isn’t always as easy as we may think.

The key is to listen just as much as we share.

Yeah, I know. You’ve probably been told that you should simply do all the listening, but the truth is a great conversation is about both of you putting in an equal effort.  It’s a give and take exchange where each person is truly invested in getting to know one another.  It’s never one-sided.

You want to share the spotlight so you can be sure she feels that you’re genuinely interested in everything she has to say, rather than throwing out a round of rapid-fire questions only because you think you’re expected to do so.

Because nothing turns a woman off more than a disengaged man who is wrapped up in conversational narcissism.

Leaving a positive impression where she thinks of you long after the date ends comes down to being authentic and charming.  And believe me, any man can learn these skills.

Here are a few tips that will help you master the art of conversation and leave her wanting more:

Avoid Boring, Stock Questions

Asking “What do you do for fun?” isn’t just uncreative but it’s flat out boring.  Those kinds of questions won’t leave her captivated or even remotely engaged. They lack thought and quite simply, they feel scripted.

Sure, you can use these traditional questions as a starting point, but they need to be designed so they lead to more in-depth, engaging questions.  The initial stock question should give you the chance to press further so that follow-up questions are more thought provoking.  

Just remember, you never want to feel as though you’re interrogating her.  Share as much as she is.  Match her pace and comfort level.  And tailor the conversation to her rather than making the mistake of following a one-strategy-fits-all approach.  

Example:  A standard question might be “Where did you grow up?”, and then a far more thought-provoking follow up question could be, “Does that place still feel like home to you?” or “What was your favorite thing about living there?”

Lead with a Compliment
Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that leading with a compliment is lame or cheesy.  If it’s a genuine compliment, rooted in truth, it’ll make her feel good about herself and simultaneously help her lower her guard and feel comfortable.

Obviously avoid anything sexual.  You want to compliment her in a way that doesn’t sexualize her in any way, especially if it’s your first date.  Sexy, flirty compliments will come later.  For now, start by showing her you’re paying attention by complimenting her in a way that not only disarms her but leaves her wanting more.

Come Armed & Ready
Before your next date, think about the type of questions you could ask her.  Brainstorm stories you can share and think about the types of topics she is likely interested in.  Even if you don’t know much about her, there are tried & true topics that will peak nearly everyone’s interest.

Just avoid the obvious triggers:  income, sex, politics and religion.

Go Deep
We’re all guilty of engaging in surface-conversation.  Small talk and discussions that barely graze the depths of anything deeply fulfilling.  It’s easy to ask her how she likes her job, right?  There’s one of those stock questions you want to avoid. Instead, ask her what her greatest challenges are in her career, or what she feels will change in her chosen profession.

Dig deeper but do so carefully. Don’t pry if you get the impression that she’s not comfortable talking in great depth about certain topics.  

At the same time, by engaging her in conversation that goes beyond the formalities of casual banter, you’re demonstrating a real interest in getting to know who she really is and what makes her tick.  

Take Your Time
Well thought out responses and questions will go the distance so slow things down and think before you speak.  

Most foot-in-mouth moments happen because we’re too busy responding without being thoughtful. You can easily avoid this by pausing briefly so you can collect your thoughts and give her a genuine answer to her questions that you won’t later regret.

How to Avoid the Friend Zone

Do nice guys really finish last?

There’s one place that no man wants to find themselves in and that’s the dreaded friend zone.  

What begins as a potential relationship where you are investing the time and energy into getting to know her, suddenly shifts into some strange, awkward and then way-too-comfortable space where she stops looking at you as a possible love interest and begins to see you as a good, trusted friend.

If you’ve ever experienced this before then you know how hard it can be to change gears and get back into the romantic partner category once she sees you as a buddy.

So, obviously, you need to arm yourself with the tools needed to ensure you never get placed into the friend zone.

Here’s how to get started:

Stop Hanging Out and Start Dating

The truth is, whether you end up in the friend zone or not isn’t always within your control, however there is one thing you can do to set the stage so that your chances of that happening are seriously minimized.

It requires that you stop “hanging out” with the women you’re interested in and you actually start dating them.

Dating involves two people with potential love interest. You are in a temporarily committed relationship that involves getting to know each other to determine whether you’re romantically compatible.

But there’s a fine line between dating and just hanging out and you need to be very careful not to fall into the wrong category, otherwise you’ll likely find yourself in the friend zone. And friend zone is nothing short of a lack of sexual interest.

Dating = Pathway to finding romance.
Hanging out = Pathway to becoming friends.

This means every date must have a purpose. For example, you’re not just taking her to a hockey game because you both share a mutual interest in watching the sport.  

Sure, the shared interest is great, but it should be the foundation of the date (the setting), not the purpose (to find love).

The purpose is spending time together as a potential couple. It’s seeing how you both interact and engage with one another, how you feel spending a few hours in different settings and situations.   It’s about testing the waters of romance.

So, during that date to the hockey game, consider the different ways you can set the tone so that she knows you are interested in her as more than friends.  

Be romantic, be sweet, and above all, be genuine and nurturing.  Engage in conversation that goes beyond surface chatter (read the previous chapter if you need help with that), and always stay focused on the real purpose of the date.  

Here are a few tips to keep yourself out of the friend zone:

Be Playful and Flirty
Don’t be afraid to flirt with her.  This banter stage of dating is important because it clarifies your intentions and tells her that you are interested in her, well beyond just friends.  

Keep it light, joking and playful.

Don’t be Subtle
Don’t play hard to get or hold back when feeling the attraction.  Men who find themselves in the friend zone are often there because they didn’t make their interest known and instead were subtle flirters.

If you’re worried about coming off too strong, think about the alternative: that you make her feel you just aren’t interested enough.  If you need to turn it down, she’ll let you know.

Build Sexual Tension
As just mentioned, flirting is important because it shows interest in a sexual way, but you want to do your best to work on building sexual tension as well.

You can do this through playful, lingering touching such as placing her hand on her shoulder, or her lower back when guiding her through the crowd.

Women love the possessive touch of a man they’re interested in because it makes them feel special and desired.

Don’t Talk Yourself Down

Guys who end up in the friend zone are notorious for cutting themselves down to lighten conversations, or to simply come off as humble.  

The truth is, men who constantly self-deprecate aren’t sexy.  Sure, you might get a laugh or two and think that you’re being endearing, but when it comes to relationships, you want her thinking of you sexually, not as a stand-up comedian who highlights all the reasons she shouldn’t be attracted to you.

Intense Goodbyes
If the date ends on a high note, let her know that you’re hesitant to end it even though you need to.  Leave her wanting more and always end the date while the excitement and energy is at an all-time high.

It’ll take some experience to know when the timing is right, so keep a pulse on how the conversation is flowing and whether things are moving along or it’s a good time to end the date.

Hot Date Ideas

The perfect date begins with the perfect setting.  Get this wrong and you’ve made things so much harder on yourself.

When it comes to choosing the right setting, there are a few things to keep in mind, including:

A Setting that Promotes Intimate Conversations
This means you obviously want to avoid rowdy bars with loud music that makes it impossible to hear one another. Instead, choose places that nurture conversation and allow you to both relax and get to know one another.

A Setting That’s Affordable
Whether you can afford it or not isn’t the point.  Bringing her to expensive restaurants may send a signal of high expectations and create a tense and awkward interaction. Instead, choose casual places that set a comfortable tone, free of strings attached.

A Setting That’s Interesting
Go off the beaten path and do something fun and interesting.  Rather than the cliché walk on the beach, consider going hiking, ice skating or kayaking.  

Not only will you show her you’re putting thought into the date but you’ll build memories and have stories to share.

Okay, so we know the top 3 things to consider when choosing the right setting for a date.  Need a few ideas?  Here’s our top 3 hot date spots:

It’s not only an interesting way to spend some time together but there will be no shortage of topics to discuss as you move through different areas of the museum and explore together. It’s also extremely affordable and allows you to spend as much (or as little) time together as you want without pressure.

This never goes out of style. A well-thought out picnic can set the stage for a memorable date. Plus, you can tailor the picnic based on whether it’s a first date, a third date or a tenth date!  

For example, keep things casual and light if it’s first date.  For a second date?  Pack a bottle of wine!  For a later date, consider adding more romance to the setting.

Coffee Shop
There’s no better place to have a real conversation, free from distractions, than a casual coffee shop.  There’s no pressure, they’re usually rather quiet and you can start off here and see where it goes.

The Art of Seduction

So, we’ve discussed the ways of staying clear from the friend zone and we’ve gone over the art of conversation. Now it’s time to think about another important part of every high-intensity romance:  mastering the art of seduction.

Seduction is all about the long game.  You’ll need to invest the time and energy into utilizing every skillset in your arsenal, including: humor, wit and charm.

It’s also about being attentive but not coming off as cheesy or desperate.  And sometimes, it’s about “faking it till you make it”, especially when it comes to conveying confidence.

You might not feel like you’re the best catch out there. You may question yourself at every turn or wonder why she’s into you.  You’ll need to learn to move beyond all self-doubt because one of the biggest romance-killers is insecurity.

Instead, you’ll want to work on charm and sophistication.  You’ll win her over easily when you present yourself as someone who is more than worthy: you’re absolutely irresistible.

Here’s how:

1: Dress the Part

A well-groomed man is attractive to women. Not only does it show her that you take care of yourself, but it also tells her that you put effort into looking your best for her.  

You want to dress smartly and learn what kind of clothing suits your frame.  Don’t choose anything too loud.  You want to highlight your masculinity while looking trendy.

2:  Slow & Steady Wins the Race

When it comes to the art of seduction, it’s all about taking your time with the woman of your dreams.  Go slow, be thoughtful and caring. A woman wants to feel protected and safe.  

Even the most independent women on earth wants to know that their man will take care of them so be aware of how she’s feeling and make sure she’s always comfortable.

3:  Give her your full attention

Confident men know that to play hard to get is a game left for amateurs.  Instead, shower her with attention so she feels respected and needed.  

Flirt with her, be playful and make her feel as though she’s the only woman in the world.  Never, ever pay another woman more attention on a date.  

The objective is to make her feel so special that all her own insecurities are tossed aside.

4: Be Romantic
Create the perfect date by choosing the right setting.  Go the extra mile. For example, if you are taking her out for dinner consider choosing an intimate table at a bistro and order a bottle of her favorite wine.

Avoid the loud, bustling bar scene and instead focus on settings that allow you to get to know one another.

5: Be Attentive
You need to make sure you are truly listening to what she is willing to share with you. Ask questions, go beyond surface conversation (I know, I’ve mentioned this already but it’s incredibly important).

Don’t come off too strong with personal questions until you’ve learned what she is comfortable sharing but at the same time, don’t be afraid to ask her things about herself that allow you to know what makes her tick.

6: Get Closer
Look for natural opportunities to get closer. Whether it’s the chance to sit closer to her at dinner, or to take her for a walk where you can hold her hand, you should always be on the lookout for the perfect chance to flirt and be playful.  

Final Words

Finding that special someone takes time and effort. You need to commit to the long-game and understand that real love takes hard work but it’ll certainly pay off in the end.

Don’t beat yourself up over failed dates.  The more you put yourself out there and the more experience you gain, the easier it will be to feel confident and comfortable on future dates.  

The truth is: practice makes perfect when it comes to the art of dating.

Don’t give up.  Whether you’re new to the dating scene or not, you have everything it takes to become a charming, attractive and unforgettable date.  Believe in yourself and that you are worthy because you are.

The key is to pay attention to the signals she puts out, work towards engaging in deep conversations that lead to forming a strong connection and never be afraid to let her know how you feel.

You’ve got this, dude. Now go find the love of your life!

To your happiness,


Here are links to a few resources that I believe will help you:

Good Men Project:


A blog dedicated to all things personal development and news-worthy.

Love Panky:


Website focusing on finding love and building ever-lasting bonds.

The Modern Man:


Essential dating advice for men.